desert rose
by MydridFox09
Summary: a slave...a master...a rule that wasn't to be questioned...a line that shouldn't have been crossed.YAOI INUKOUGA
1. the beginning

(**an/ I don't own inuyasha and I wrote this becuz there are not a lot of  
Inu/Kouga fic and if u don't like it don't read it. And please review. I  
do accept corrective criticism but just so ya know I might not know how to fix the problem)  
**  
My name strikes terror into my enemies and respect into my fellow warriors. Kouga. I have my king's eternal favor enough to be happy in my next 12 lives. My home is furnished with the finest plunder of my many conquests. My wife is one of the most beautiful women in all of Egypt. But even so my wife, kikyo, is cold and barren. Some might say heartless and even sometimes cruel but she is a gift form pharaoh and I shall treasure her to the best of my abilities.  
  
My life changed with a new arrival in our household. I had missed a conquest because I had to see to some business elsewhere, so one of my captains brought me some slaves from the land. The first time I saw him, he was so battered and bruised I was afraid he was dead. I immediately sent him to my healer when I found out he was still breathing. '_Can't have sick slaves,_ _can I?'_ I thought. It was when I saw a week later that I finally got a good look at him. An almost adult-not much younger than myself with a strong body that looked used to labor. It was his hair that caught my attention. Cropped to his shoulder and tied with a leather strap, it was coal black until it got to the very tips of the ends which were an odd silver color and a strand of that same silver in one solid strip in the front of his hair. He looked alright in his tunic but by the way he was fidgeting I could tell he was uncomfortable. I walked over to him and asked him what was wrong. When he didn't answer, I called over Sango-one of my older servants and the house healer.  
  
"What is wrong with him? Is he mute?" I asked  
  
"No sir. He doesn't talk because he doesn't speak the language". She began to talk to him in a language that I had never heard before. His eyes focused on sango in a new level of understanding. I suppose she reasked my question. He looked at me as if unwilling to go on in my presence. I nodded- to tell him to continue- and he turned back to face sango.  
  
He began speaking in that language that sango had used, only talking faster and unconsciously tugging his tunic more. When he finished, sango giggled a bit before turning back to me  
  
"He says he feels naked in that cloth. He asks why he has to wear clothes of a child when he is an adult. He would have his old clothes to wear but they are so sullied he can't. He means no disrespect master"  
  
"Hmm. Tell him he did not offend. And for the future, give him a robe or something". I turned away then quickly turned around to add "oh and sango. Begin his lessons in our language. That way he can be a bit useful"  
  
he started lessons the next day after dinner. If I had nothing to do sometimes I'd peek in and even help with the lessons if sango had something else to attend to. He amazed me with his intellect and willingness to embrace in earnest this strange new world he was suddenly bound to. He learned quickly and after awhile he could speak as if he were a native. Now along with his understanding the language and what people were doing he began to suggest new ideas for the household. Sango was telling me of the ideas he spoke to her in private so I tried some on a whim. Within a few weeks my house was running in maximum efficiency. And the servants had nothing but blessing to say about the strange boy with all the ideas that still stopped to help with the process. I began to give him more power and soon everyone and everything was moving smoother and better under his watchful eye and brilliant guidance. During all these, I realized that I still did not know his name  
  
"you" I called to him one day "under you my house has become my pride, and think I deserve to know the name of my miracle worker"  
  
He looked at me with new admiration. "Shukrin (thank you) lord, you do me honor with your praise. My name is inuyasha"  
  
After that we became consorts. Many nights we would spend talking about the house and things that need to be done. Pretty soon the subjects began to widen, I found he had a keen mind for battle and a eye for strategy.  
  
I found myself thinking more of him, miracle worker 


	2. worrying

(Inu's pov)  
  
When I first got to this land I could barely walk. I was taken to house and the last thing I remember was passing out was a deep voice saying some gibberish I could not comprehend. I awoke in a clay room that smelled of herbs and potions. As I looked about, a woman came through the door and spoke something to me. More gibberish-that I couldn't understand. She must have sensed my unease, for she patted me comfortingly, before handing me a cup of tea. I fell asleep listening to her pound an herbal remedy. When I awoke some time later I could hear her voice -through my sleepy haze- whispering to someone or something._ 'Wait I know those words'_. This strange woman from another land was saying the evening prayer to Kami in my tongue. I opened my mouth and spoke- surprised at the harshness of my voice- in my language  
  
"You girl, How do you know the divine prayer to Kami?"  
  
She looked startled, then ashamed before finally settling on astonished. She answered in my language  
  
"I lived in Japan long ago with my family. You can speak? "  
  
"Yes of course I can speak. Why would you ask such a silly question?"  
  
"Well because I thought you were a mute when you didn't answer but now I guess I know why you were so silent, don't I "she chuckled and handed me more tea to make me sleep and ease the pain. With my last remaining conscious I asked one last thing  
  
"Women. What is your name?"  
  
She turned and smiled before replying. "Sango. My name is sango, little one"

* * *

The next day I was washed, cleaned and bronzed before being given this tiny scrap of clothing. I was feeling very uncomfortable when another man approached me. Again he spoke in the language I had yet to understand. He looked very important by the cut of his robes and thought that the voice sounded familiar. It was when he called over to sango that I realized that this was the man that had me treated when I came into the house. The man I pretty much owed my life to. Sango approached and they talked for a minute before she turned to me and told me that the man wanted to know why I was uncomfortable. I looked him over. Older than me, with sharp as sapphire blue eyes and brown hair. He nodded as a signal to go on. I told sango the very reason this garment-if it can be called such- upset me, making sure that I included that I didn't want to offend him. She turned back to him- supposedly to translate. 

He seemed to consider this for a moment then walked away-only to walk back and say one more thing – before leaving the hall. Sango was beaming; she told me that he had given her permission to teach me kemitian (**a/n kemit** **is the true name of Egypt. My dad keeps saying it so I decided to use it**). I began learning, trying to make the best of a new world. The young lord, who I later learned was named Kouga, often came by sometimes helping but most the time just watching the proceedings. I adopted quickly and I think everyone was pleased by my success.

I began to share ideas about the house with sango and eventually she convinced the master t try some. Everything worked perfectly and soon I was moved to a higher position. I saw Kouga a lot now since I was basically running his house. One day he stopped me and asked my name. I told him and from then on we were on somewhat similar ground.

We branched out and became friends awhile after. I loved his tellings of far off places and battle, while he admired how I was honest and had an unbiased opinion. More and more I began thinking about my young master. Pretty soon we were very close. I began to notice that ideas that I told him in private about battle were soon enforce and added to his regimen.  
  
Another thing I noticed was the mistress's attention. She seemed to be always following me. kikyo was a very beautiful women but she was married, to my best friend and I felt no attraction. I got more anxious when started to call me to her room to talk about construction of a "garden". Often during these talks her body would "accidentally" brush against me. I got so nervous that one night during a late night conversation I had with Kouga I blurted out my concern. Kouga thought on it, his sharp eyes closed and he deliberated an answer.  
  
He turned to me and told me not to fear. "my wife is lusty" he said "I have known this but she will not go as far as disgrace and disown herself by giving herself to another man much less one of my consorts. Don't worry; I'm sure nothing will happen"  
  
I just hope he was right. My master


	3. obsession begins

**(a/n. I don't own inuyasha. Kagome would have a subduing charm if I did. Hehehe kagome LAY BITCH **_thump_**. Muhahahahaha)**  
  
Now I am truly bothered. For weeks, I thought of nothing but him. He, inuyasha, is supposed to be my servant and nothing more. But more and more of my daytime thoughts turn toward him. Who is he? Does he have family? What happened to him before he entered my house? Little secrets I dare not ask, but must know the answer. Like an unreachable itch that I need to scratch. He told me liked reading and martial arts and I gave him leave to go into my private library anytime he wanted. I also began to train him in my spare time. Within a week he was training with my best soldiers. If I could get away for awhile we would go swimming and hunting-in my private lagoon, of course. He began teaching me his language, Japanese, he called it. So now we speak privately in this Japanese for hours discussing everything. It worries me how many times I look at him during training or when he's working in the fields.  
  
I have begun to notice what he was talking about. My wife kikyo certainly has her eye on him. As I watch him in the fields, I see her call him to her room to speak privately. I see the dread in his eyes as he reluctantly follows her summons. They're talking; I can hear them through the door. I open it a crack and see both of them, inuyasha in a chair looking at papers talking and my wife sitting next to him moving ever closer like she is on the attack. To stop the situation before it starts, I walk in and call out an introduction. I gauge both reactions. One face of utter disgust, anger, and contempt for me. The other shows extreme relief, happiness, and anxiety.  
  
"Excuse me wife, but I need to borrow inuyasha for a moment" I say, fully stepping into the room  
  
Kikyo flashed a brilliant albeit cold smile and responds "yes of course my lord. We were just finishing. You may go now young man."  
  
I waited for him to bow to her, and then we took our leave. He said nothing; I said nothing as we walked back to his section in the servant's quarters. One of the first things he did when he moved into this larger space was to move sango into a connecting room. I was a bit worried about their relationship, until I heard that a young man from the temple was courting her.  
  
When we reached the door, I turned his body to face mine. "If you ever need help. Anything at all I will assist you to the best of my abilities" I said solemnly-but comfortingly. He slightly nodded, then opened his door and walked into the darkness.

* * *

It was late. Very late but I had a small campaign next month that was still in planning stages. When I came upon the compound I noticed- among other lights still on- that my wife's light in her window was lit. Since my wife had never warmed up to me enough to be called affectionate I knew she wouldn't be waiting up for me._ 'What in Ra's sun is she doing up'_ I thought. Then I saw it. Shadows moving in the room, one kikyo's and another that were definitely male._ 'Oh no, Inuyasha'_. I rushed upstairs and the closer I got to the door the more sounds I heard. I got in the outer hallway just in time to see inuyasha burst out of the room looking frantic, parts of his robe ripped so his skin showed a bit. I stepped out of the shadow to catch him and hold him still. He fought desperately, trying to break away and when I saw his eyes I saw the fear of being misunderstood and punished.  
  
"It's all right, it's all right you are safe. Calm down" I tried to soothe him. It was only after he heard my voice did he cease his struggle. I heard him whisper my name and melt into my embrace. I lifted his face from the crook of my neck and looked into his eyes. Then I did what I never thought I would do despite my feelings.  
  
I kissed him  
  
_(R&R Luvs )_


	4. the kiss

(**A/n. this is Inu's POV it's going back a bit before the incident so don't get confused**)  
  
_'no no. I can't think about him anymore'_ I tell myself this day after day, hour after hour. Things have become unbearable. I now know no peace because of this man. He haunts my daydreams and my night wanderings. Kouga... My master... My friend... My obsession. Tension wells up in the both of us. I can feel it, like it's pulling us together. I catch him looking at me in odd moments of the day which only tells me I'm watching him just as much. Though I do worry about my growing infatuation with him, Kouga is not my biggest problem.  
  
Kikyo. Even that name sends shivers of repulsion down my spine. True, she is beautiful but behind that fair façade is a viper. She is constantly making advances at other men. I spent many a nights in the servants quarters listening to men tell of this hot-blooded harlot. How she goes after one man then drops him as soon as another draws her interest. They have competition on who can keep her the longest every month. And it seems she wishes me to be her latest toy. I'm constantly being called being called to her chambers to talk about her "garden plans". I try to be distant-but polite- and she is always rubbing her leg against mine or touching me somewhere. Every time she because more brash and bolder. I shudder to think what could have happened if Kouga hadn't interrupted that night. He promised to help me with anything if I asked. I feared that I might have to call on that favor very soon

* * *

* * *

* * *

Kouga was away. Damn. Kikyo called me up to her room. Damn. I wonder how I can save myself this time. After his interruption earlier this month, she has stopped for awhile but with him at Pharaoh's court I have no barricade anymore. I grabbed the plans I was making and walked to the west wing. I went into the room and blinked a bit to adjust to the lower light levels.  
  
"There you are. I was beginning to get worried" said a voice from the couch  
  
"Um excuse me mistress. I did not mean to offend. It is a little dark maybe I should light a few more candles" I reached for a lighted to ignite the others  
  
"No" she whispered harshly. Then her voice went back to a soft purr "no. I have a tiny bit of a headache so I wanted to keep the lights down" she got off the couch and walked toward me slowly  
  
I began unconsciously backing away. "Okay well I shouldn't be here then. All the work and plans for the garden might make your headache worse" I turned to leave when she grabbed my arm and pulled me back in.  
  
"Oh no, stay. We can just talk. Talking soothes me. Besides I hardly know anything about you" she sat back on the couch facing me. So we just kind of sat there me-doing most of the talking- and her-moving closer. Before I could register her movements she was on me kissing and suckling my neck while rubbing all over me. I froze.  
  
"What's wrong Inu darling. Don't you want me?" she whimpered in my ear (**a/n how coy. The bitch**)  
  
I finally regained enough sense to push her off me and move away. She got up and started to chase me around the room. During some point she grabbed my robe and began pulling, ripping some of it. _'I have to get out of here'_ I thought as I ran. I heard her calling out obscenities to me as I ran out the outer chambers  
  
"You don't know what you're missing. Men have begged for the honor to touch me" she hissed after me (**a/n did they have to take a number or do you think the line was moving briskly. Lol ok sorri**) "you will rue the day you refused me, boy"  
  
Suddenly I was caught, strong steady arms holding tight against my struggles. _'Oh god. Now I will be punished for being in there. That entire racket must have awoken the guard. Kami be merciful'_ a sweet deep voice called my name and began to soothe me. My heart slowed back to it's calming pace once I recognized the voice. Kouga._ 'Gods be praised'_ I thought as I finally let the last few minutes catch up with me. The adrenaline rush subsiding as I snuggled into the warm embrace that promised protection.  
  
He stared at me still calming me, holding me, cherishing me. The next thing I knew his lips were on mine. So explosive was the sensation I was shocked into submission. His warm feverish daring scent that was alluring in the day time was amplified in his mouth, in his kiss. Sweet sweat and the perfume used everyday mixed with the spiciness of the Egyptian air. He was fire. Burning me alive, taunting me with that feral ferociousness that made him freighting to everyone else but made him addictive to me.  
  
We broke apart and stared at each other. Both thinking the same thing;  
  
What the hell just happened?  
  
(**a/n I was going to write more but im not supposed to be writing this anywaz. So I had to stop. Next chappie will still be in Inu's POV it will be the aftermath of the kiss**)


	5. reminder

Hey everyone. Sorri but my computer totally crashed nad my parents took 4ever to get the parts so now im waiting for it to be fixed completely. We had to get a new memoery thing so all my stuff is gone. But don't worry I'm writng the chapter as we speak.. or read whatever. So bye

N.R.KITNA


	6. confrontation

Sorry for not writing in a while. My computer broke and then I kept having all these kind of panic attacks. I hope you can forgive. And I hope this chapter is longer than the rest cuz I wrote a lot but the pages get smaller on the download.

I've been into yaoi a lot lately and check my profile for fav couples

( I don't own Inuyasha.)

Inu P.O.V

It had been weeks since we talked. Weeks since we last meet in the court and laughed. Hell, we couldn't even look each other in the eye anymore all because of that one kiss. Damn. If it wasn't so good a memory I would wish it had never happened, but it did and now it's tearing us apart. I know I haven't been myself lately and people have begun to notice and worry. I still go out in the fields and help, and make new plans for the harvest but you can tall my hearts not into it. It got so bad that Sango came to talk to me.

"Ok Inu. I've known you longer than anyone and I know when something's wrong so spill it." She said

I sighed. I had yet to tell her about the kiss so I suppose I had to start there. "Sango, you remember how Kikyo was giving me a hard time. "

She nodded

"Well, a few weeks ago she almost got me. When I went up to her room she kept trying to seduce me and when I told her no she tried to grab me and I ran. The next thing I knew I was in someone's arms. I was so scared because i thought a guard had been called by her yelling and was going to punish me. But it wasn't a guard …"

"Well who was it "she stated

"Don't interrupt Sango I'm getting to that. It was Kouga. "

"KOUGA!" she yelled

"Shh not so loud" I whispered as I glared at her. "Yea, Kouga. He had come to rescue me and calmed me down. Then the next second we're kissing and it felt so right, so perfect. I can't begin to describe his wonderful taste. But now it's like we're avoiding each other. It's so frustrating."

Sango seemed to ponder over this for a second then she turned to me and said "So you want to get this resolved right?"

I nodded

"Ok well I have the perfect idea" Sango grabbed me by the hand and led me through the halls into the inner chambers of the abode. I swear she was trying to hit me against a wall and I had to shout apologizes over my shoulder to the cook, a solider, a inner chamber maid, a field worker, … well you get the idea. Suddenly she stopped and pulled me against a wall.

"Thank gods we stopped. What is wrong with you and where are we…"

"Shh. Look you wanted to talk to Kouga to get this thing all figured out. Right "she says

I nodded

"Well here's your chance" she whispers and points over her shoulder. I move to the edge of the wall and look around the corner and there he is. Kouga; the guy I've been haunted about this entire time, talking to one of his commanders. I turn back to find Sango just to see that she has already disappeared.

"What are you doing here" said a strong deep and caring voice behind me. I whirled around and came face to face with Kouga, smirking in his oh-so-gentle way. Now all of a sudden I was nervous. Not "crush" nervous but "I'm going to throw up dizzy spells" nervous. What if he forgot? What if it was just a heat of the moment type thing? What if he decided to throw me in the dungeon for even mentioning it in public?

"Umm well I … I wanted to…"

He looked at me funny "Well spit it out, your more nervous than a spring chicken"

I took a deep breath and answered "Well I wanted to talk to you. Alone; you know in private". Kouga took a long look at me, then glazed around and pulled me into an empty room.

"Ok then" he said "You want to talk so talk"

"Oh I'll talk but not here" I replied still a bit miffed at the uncaring way he spoke to me "If you want to know what's going on then you need to come to the garden tonight, the garden in the west wing"

I turned to leave but was stopped by a hand on my arm

"And what, may I ask, makes you think I will come to this midnight rendezvous with my overseer". Kouga asked.

I turned my back toward him and replied "Well it's about what happened…. I just want to know were we stand"

"Oh come on. It was a mistake ok. You were almost molested and in a nervous panic. I comforted you and we accidentally kissed ok, I don't see why you have to make something of one little instant, like some love-sick women"

At that I turned around forgetting my nervousness in exchange for anger. "You are the most stubborn, idiotic jerk I have ever seen. I know I was in a panic and I know what happened; and you know it too. I want you to look at me, right now, look me in the eye and tell me everything I feel right now isn't real; "

Kouga, whose gaze had previously been on the door, then turned and looked at me before lowering his gaze and sighing. "I'll be there tonight around midnight, and then we can talk this over."

I nodded and turned to leave through the golden archway, before turning and replying "Thank you"

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* * *

Hey thanks for reading the story:

special thanx to: **Shylust, Darkfox, Itaki-chan, and others.**

**Co co nuts: yea this is a gay story but it is mt first time writing so please be easy**

**Tails: You're right and I do need to add more details so i'll try to drag up some of my old books on egypt and work on that. anything you can add or find would be super helpful and gratly appreciated.**

**Hey remeber to read and review but be a bit positive, cuz i get sad when people are mean :(**

**Also since so many people keep telling me, i need a beta super super much. update might be slow and i need someone who can add on and give me good corrective criticism, not justcorrections,and deal with my bad spelling. If interested please contact light2chaos098 yahoo. com**

**. Thanx**


	7. the garden

**Disclaimer: I don't own my precious Inu, but I did see the second movie last week. YAY**

It was a slightly cold night. The sweet Egyptian air wavered over the land as the bronze sun made its final descent into the west. The golden light lit a intricate pattern on the walls of the large house, showing off its beautiful designs of victorious battles, beautiful scenery, and the history of the owner's family. A tall raven haired man walked down the path to the center of his private garden. After ordering his guards away, the man proceeded to inner sanctum of the garden. Inside there was a larger fountain filled with native and exotic fish that vibrant colors seemed to reflect off the water to cause a rainbow of color that shown on the other member of this conference. A slender youth with streaked black and white hair and pale flesh sat quietly on the edge looking into the water calmly; as if waiting for someone. As the other man approached, the servant quickly stood, gave a quick bow, and thanked the man for coming.

* * *

"_I shouldn't have come here. I should be back in the house looking over those plans for the next raid on the tomb robbers, not out here indulging in some secret fantasy" _Kouga sighed "_Well to late to do anything now" _

Inuyasha sat back down on the fountain's edge and motioned for Kouga to sit next to him. Kouga moved forward and sat down, close enough to see the water's reflection dancing off his skin, but far enough away to leave quickly. Inuyasha looked up at him and sighed

"We have a lot to talk about, Kouga. I'm so confused right now so I was just kind of hoping you could let me speak first and get it all out. Is that ok?"

Kouga just nodded; waiting.

"Well I guess I should start with what I felt that night. Well first off I was scared. I know most people would never admit this, even if it's true, but Kikyo terrified me" Kouga silently nodded to the admittance of fear. Heck, sometime his wife scared him too. "It wasn't as if I was afraid she'd hurt me, it was just that I felt helpless. I couldn't hit her or even lay a hand on her for fear of her telling people that I raped her, but I couldn't sleep with her either. So when I got the chance to run, I took it and I remember feeling panicked but when I realized you were holding me, all the stress and tension just ran out of my body and I felt safe. For the first time in a long time I could just relax. And then you kissed me an-"

"I am sorry about that" Kouga broke in, speaking for the first time "I know it's a poor excuse for someone of my stature but I just couldn't help myself. All that discipline and training beat into as I was growing up suddenly lifted away and all I had left was you; standing there looking up at me with such trusting I couldn't understand. You looked too fragile, too perfect to be real, so I kissed you. I'm really sorry **(1)**" He finished with his head down. _"I really shouldn't be having these feelings. I'm a hardened warlord yet here I am apologizing to a foreigner, and a slave at that. Even if he does look heavenly- no stop thinking like that. Here I go again confusing myself" _

Kouga's inner monologue was broken by the feel of a gentle pressure lifting his head up. He looked up to see a smiling Inuyasha.

"Well I have an idea."

"What is it"

"Kiss me"

Kouga started "What. Are you crazy?"

Inuyasha looked into his eyes "No. I just want to know, if it was actually true what I- what we felt the other night. Please kiss me" Kouga didn't not what was more a temptation those lips or those eyes begging him, but all he knew is that he began to tilt his head until he felt those lily soft petals one his own rough lips. A jolt went through his body, sparking with a roaring fire that quickly dosed to a warm flame that heated his entire body. Kouga knew nothing of those few minutes except the endless pleasure he felt, knowing Inu was in his arms reacting to his kiss. But then common sense kicked in and he pushed Inuyasha away, apology already on his lips, when Inu pressed his fingers to his lips silencing him.

"I didn't say I hated it, I just was surprised that's all. It finally made me realize what I feel for you. Before it was just a weird attraction or a funny feeling, but after that kiss it seemed like so much more. Like I actually had a chance to be happy"

"Well I'm afraid you don't"

Inuyasha looked up slightly hurt "Kouga"

"The truth is no matter how much you or I want to this can't work. I won't let my feelings bring dishonor onto his house or my pharaoh"

"What are you talking about? What dishonor? Kouga, I don't understand"

"It's simple" Kouga sighed, looking into his hands again "You're a slave; I'm your master this can't work. I will not have myself or you looked down upon if our affair were ever found out" _"Especially not you. I could not stand to have you belittled as a common whore, like so many other slaves. No not you, Inu; never you"_

"How could you say that? No one will find out."

"What if someone does" shouted Kouga "Like the cook, or the maid or, Gods forbid, my wife. She'd probably go tell it all over the city, tearing my reputation to shreds. No matter that she herself has had man lovers and it wouldn't matter much if you were a women or if I was so high in the council, but I am and you are and this can't work."

" No that's no it" said Inuyasha in a cool voice "You're doing this for some other reason that your position or the rumors. You're keeping something from me and I just want to know why you are doing this. I know you felt something too, during that kiss so I want to know why you want to suddenly turn your back on me"

"I'm not turning my back on you-"Kouga interrupted weakly

"Yes the Hell you are and I WANT TO KNOW WHY"

"YOU WANT TO KNOW. YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY I THINK WE CAN'T WORK"

"YES DAMMIT WHY"

"BECAUSE I'M NOT READY, I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF YOU"

"AND SINCE WHEN ARE YOU UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU HAD TO TAKE CARE OF ME, I'VE BEEN DOING FINE ON MY OWN WITHOUT YOU FOR WAY LONGER THAN THIS AND I CAN DO IT AGAIN"

"OH REALLY AND THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SAVE YOUR SORRY ASS FROM BEING RAPED, HUH." At that Inuyasha instantly deflated and Kouga knew he had gone too far. All he wanted to do was to protect him and try to explain why he was the way he was, but now he ruined it; just like every time.

Kouga walked up and took Inuyasha in his arms. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm so terrible with expressing feelings. I just never really had a chance to as a child, to know much love. My father was a harsh man, not a cruel, but he was big on discipline. It was my mother that gave me most of the loving and tender care, but she died when I was younger. Father really wasn't really for mother to die. He stayed in his rooms for days just looking over her things getting them ready for the burial ceremony and after she was buried, he closed himself off."

Kouga stopped briefly and looked down into Inuyasha's compassionate eyes. "I barely saw my father after that. He basically disappeared, he came to meals but other than in the hallway he totally secluded himself. All the parties and social gatherings that he usually went to were dismissed with a simple 'no'. Year after year I saw my father deteriorate from the proud man he used to be into a hollow shell. And soon after he died of the sickness." Kouga cracked out; bringing up all these old memories did hurt a great deal, especially confessing them to another.

"That's terrible"

Kouga snorted "Yea that's my little sob story. So I hope you'll forgive me for being such and idiot"

"Of course" Inuyasha smiled "so are we going to be together, or are you still not convinced I can take care of myself." Kouga sighed heavily then looked deep into amber eyes and knew he had found his soul; he wasn't about to give this up

"Yes. We'll give it a try"

* * *

**Hey everyone I know I haven't written in a while, so I hope this is good for you. And I am dedicating this chapter to my friend D.H who is going through some boy trouble with her boyfriend. Stay strong girl**

(1)- D.'s boyfriend wrote her a letter apologizing and professing his love and I was thinking about it when I wrote that part.

**Thanks to: **

**Onyxlight**: Thank so much for taking an interest in my work, because you are such a great writer and I love your stories it means A LOT.

**Carmerethial:** Yea I do need a little help in the grammar department because I know what I want to write in my head and sometime it doesn't come out on paper right so please forgive me.

**Tails:** Thanks for tips. In this story I'm going to have Kikyo be a bit sneaky and Kouga has a lot of pride, so to not have control of his wife getting out to the public would hurt him some so that's why he's reluctant to tell.

**SilverWolfBaby:** Thank you so very much. I hoped at least someone liked it. If you're not good a writing it's cool cuz I'm working out my kinks myself especially being in Honors English this year, but the thought was really nice.

**Shylust:** Thanks and if I need help I will ask. I hope you like the update.

**SnakeMistress:** I know I know I do need to hurry up, but sometimes I get stuck on an idea but I can't think something to tie it into the story

**Lara T:** Thanx so much Lara. And no I'm not abandoning this fic so there's no need to glare at me. I hope you like the chapter.


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